Did you just go to the number one supermarket in vegetables and fruit yesterday, and today your bananas already look like this and you don’t own a blender and/or ice cream to make banana smoothies?
Does your life just suck in general and do you need something to comfort you? Caress your soul? Make all that anguish go away, even if it’s just for a brief, sweet moment?
Whatever the reason, be it falsely advertised produce that went bad way before it should or the general sadness of existence weighing heavy on your poor mind, there is a solution:
CHOCOLATE BANANA CURD CHEESE DESSERT!
Yes, you read that right. It is not only delicious a.f., it is also healthy a.f., as I will demonstrate throughout this short tutorial on how to make the most delighting, but also probably the most polarising dessert I have come across in my life.
It all began that one day, when my Mom… No, who am I kidding. The background story is nice, but you’re here for the recipe. Let’s get started then.
Take a pot of curd cheese (500ml), two options here. ACTUALLY go healthy and take the low fat stuff, or go full-on mouth orgasm and take that full french curd cheese stuff with extra fat and sugar.
Also get 500 ml of yogurt. Again. Two options. Fat and tasty, or no fat and healthy (but still kind of tasty to be honest!)
Obviously, get some b-a-n-a-n-a-s! 4 should do the trick. And to cover the other ingredient in the name, you’ll want to get a bar of dark chocolade. You can go as fancy on that as you like, get that 99.9% cocoa 200 $ a piece chocolade, or just take that 20 cents bar of discounter supermarket dark chocolate that a lot of people didn’t get their fair pay for. Anyhow, dark chocolate is good for your heart and blood vessels, and bananas of course are a source of lots of important minerals and vitamins. Healthy stuff, I told you so!
Then you need cocoa powder, or rather, that stuff that you can use to make hot chocolate. Which basically is just sugar. But man, is it good for your soul and peace of mind. Imagine that cosy feeling of having a cup of hot chocolate on a cold and rainy day, just now we’re going to infuse it into a cold dessert. Brilliant. This state of cosiness does wonders to calm down any stressed out brain, and we all know that mental health is probably the biggest challenge our society faces right now. So not just physically, this dessert also has huge benefits for your psychological state!
The last ingredient is a bit of a point of discussion. You gotta make a decision, if you’d like to boost your body more, or rather your mind. If you go for the healthy, “I work out 5 days a week and can’t have one dessert ruin my efforts” approach, you’re done. Skip ahead to the next paragraph right now. If you feel down and don’t care about what your weight will be tomorrow morning, you just need that gloomy mood gone, your friend in need will be about 200-250 ml of cream. Whatever the size of one pot of those is at your local vendor of mood-enhancing food items.
Open up the curd cheese and yogurt, put them in a big enough bowl or other receptacle. You might even use a pan if you don’t have a proper mixing bowl. No shame in that.
But if you do have a nice bowl, it should look something like this:
Add the cocoa powder. How much, you ask. I don’t know, honestly. Just pour some in until you think “wow, that’s probably already too much”. Then stir it in with a whisk. Don’t worry if you still see little balls of cocoa powder that resist assimilation by the curd/yogurt mix. They will succumb eventually.
After that, get to cutting the bananas and add them into the fun. Also, the chocolate of course. I found cutting a whole bar of chocolate at once (because I’m lazy) works best with a serrated bread knife and if you first do the short cuts and then the long ones, until you have a lot of little nice blocks of chocolate. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Nobody is.
I don’t have pictures of the banana cutting process. You’re a grown-up, you can figure it out. And if you’re not, ask one for help, preferably nobody who is a manager at work, they always screw things up. But that’s a topic for another blog.
Push all of those healthy ingredients from your cutting board into the mix and stir them. If you’re more intelligent than I am, you won’t still use a whisk for that:
If you’re one of those fitness gurus on instagram, stop right here and enjoy your moderately awesome dessert. If you don’t care so much about what’s on your hips, grab a hold of that cream you should still have. Give it a proper whisking, until it is stiff and fluffy. Gently stir that into the rest. Apparently, stirring to energetically will make it lose it’s fluffiness, and we can’t have that in our soul food extraordinaire.
You might notice something quite concerning on the second picture. The colour of the mixture has become quite bleak. We can’t have that of course, so adjust the colour back to dark chocolatey shades with more cocoa powder. Yes. The end result should not only taste, but look great, and sacrifices have to be made concerning the actual healthiness of this nectar of the gods.
After that, you’re done. Let your taste buds swim in bliss-turned- dairy-dessert. Settle down on your couch with the bowl of fresh made happiness-cream. Your problem’s won’t be gone, but they’ll be forgotten, as long as there is at least one more spoonful. If that last spoonful comes and goes in the same session, don’t feel guilty. You weren’t in control, the chocolate bananas were. Relax, everything will be fine.
And don’t let haters tell you that this doesn’t taste good or is bad for you! Everybody who doesn’t absolutely LOVE this, deserves to be mistrusted.
This recipe serves about 8 regular dessert portions. Or one. Depending on the state of affairs in the consumer’s life.
The dish also has nutritious values. Quite a lot of them, I should think.